Assorted Press Archives

The Editor of The Assorted Press (pictured above) is known by many names (mostly invented), but we know him as Fritz.

TAP reports a surprise move; Nigeria elects former Internet scam artist as president --- Fritz ( 03/24/2006, 11:56:57 )

The Assorted Press covers alarming Nazi rally in mid Berlin - Adolph Hitler II addresses crowd --- Fritz ( 03/07/2006, 12:57:26 )

Want to win a George Clooney Bobble-head doll from Cindy Sheehan's gang? (A TAP report.) --- Fritz ( 03/01/2006, 16:22:48 )

A tale of two giant pussies, one from Drudge, one from TAP --- Fritz ( 02/21/2006, 16:11:51 )

Assorted Press Voices, TAP question of the day: "Should Right Mind posters feed the trolls? --- Fritz ( 02/15/2006, 10:54:51 )

Assorted Press investigative reporter reveals identity of Kuni the troll --- Fritz ( 02/12/2006, 18:31:29 )

The Assorted Press interviews Mother Nature about the big snow storm --- Fritz ( 02/12/2006, 15:02:51 )

"Dear ACLU, the American justice system is violating my religious freedom"........ letter from a jailed fundamentalist Muslim (TAP report) --- Fritz ( 02/06/2006, 15:10:59 )

Confronted by TAP; Ted Kennedy denies Paternity allegation --- Fritz ( 02/04/2006, 12:33:19 )

The Assorted Press has obtained a copy of the GOP campaign ad due to run on TV and radio stations targeting Julian Bond's NAACP voters --- Fritz ( 02/03/2006, 14:01:35 )

OK Whitey, here's a TAP article concerning the Constitution with some changes the Democrats may want in the Bill of Rights --- Fritz ( 01/24/2006, 23:16:09 )

Hillary tells The Assorted Press; she will "beat Condi Rice in 2008" --- Fritz ( 01/23/2006, 14:24:20 )

The Assorted Press visits with Mr. New Vision, anti-American Bush basher and ardent booster of Communist China --- Fritz ( 01/20/2006, 17:27:12 )

There was once a forum called "The Patriot" (A TAP rerun.) --- Fritz (01/18/2006, 15:33:46 )

The Assorted Press reports scientific find near Kennedy family compound in Massachusetts --- Fritz ( 01/14/2006, 14:04:35 )

Harry Belafonte calls President Bush "world's greatest terrorist" - Bush names him to important job --- Fritz ( 01/09/2006, 16:38:53 )

The Assorted Press has jump on the Media - Some Top Headlines of 2006 revealed --- Fritz ( 12/29/2005, 15:14:51 )

Saddam's lawyer, Ramsey Clark, offers billions to anti-war protesters and other Islamo-fascist sympathizers --- Fritz ( 12/29/2005, 11:25:44 )

9th Circuit Court of Appeals Judge Stephen Reinhardt rules the private celebration of Christmas unconstitutional --- Fritz ( 12/20/2005, 12:05:34 )

An interview with Shanda Leer, some times known as Sandy --- Fritz (Unknown)

Do you resent forum "private messages" or e-mails, are you above petty party politics, is your name Issodhos? --- Fritz (Unknown)

Satan has a few words concerning Posters at Right Minds & the late unlamented Patriot forum - "Why does everyone hate Satan?" --- Fritz ( 11/25/2005, 22:27:35 )

Michael Moore's combination wet dream and nightmare --- Fritz (Unknown)

Hey ‘Bob’, did you know Michael Moore is suing Al Franken? --- (Eric Kirk is defending Franken) --- Fritz (Unknown)

Had to post this today; From today’s real Associated Press (with a follow up) --- Fritz (Unknown)

Is there a real terror threat or not? --- Some of our lawmakers are not sure --- Fritz (Unknown)

Three top hard-Left Democrats will have special wing just for them --- Fritz (Unknown)

About those Liberal history revisionists who plan to place new texts in American schools for “balance” --- Fritz (Unknown)

Al Gore, "The Mother Theresa of politics" -- were we wrong about Al? --- Fritz (Unknown)

Grampa Right's reporting on Michael Jackson makes the news --- Fritz (Unknown)

The true story behind the Tom Clancy and General Zinni "deal" --- Fritz (Unknown)

If you like the teacher’s union (NEA), you’ll love this "No Dollar Left Behind" campaign

That "other forum" fails to make it on TV --- Fritz (Unknown)

Speaking of religion: No virgins for these three dead Muslim terrorists --- Fritz (Unknown)

Strange weekend thoughts from a moderate (or centrist) poster in a Conservative forum --- Fritz (Unknown)

3,000 Bleeding Heart Liberal-Democrats live it up while attending summit for the poor in Haiti --- Fritz (Unknown)

Piss poor planning produces piss poor protests -- I'm pretty pissed off at bleeding heart liberal protesters today (are we allowed to say pissed?) --- Fritz (Unknown)

The Democrat's 'Burning Question': Will Ted Kennedy Beat Rush on Radio? --- Fritz (Unknown)

Now it can be told; Why Hillary did not murder President Bill Clinton --- Fritz (Unknown)

The tale of two stories, one from the NY Times & one from The Assorted Press (TAP) --- Fritz (Unknown)

President Bush considers replacing CIA chief - How does Maxwell Smart sound to replace Tenet at CIA? --- Fritz (Unknown)

Senator Dole left the Senate to run for president - "No class" Kerry is "AWOL" from the Senate voting only IF it helps his campaign --- Fritz (Unknown)

Now we know what the problem is at that - "other forum" --- Fritz (Unknown)

John Kerry refuses to comment on charges that Conservatives "hacked" or broke the "Patriot -Masters" Forum --- Fritz (Unknown)

Fragments of an early liberal hominid skull found in western Massachusetts --- Fritz (Unknown)

Saddam Hussein, The Democratic Party, The NY Times, and CNN all seem to agree - "the real criminal is Bush". --- Fritz (Unknown)

Saddam Hussein, though in jail, wants to participate in the Democrat convention as a “Blogger” --- Fritz (Unknown)

Will Colin Powell leave the Bush administration in 2005 to take up a singing career? Envious Harry Belafonte complains --- Fritz (Unknown)

As well as the farm vote, Kerry is looking for the Amish vote; he wants to give them video games at taxpayer expense --- Fritz (Unknown)

Kerry says Democrats have the answer to Bush’s failed economy – (a plan based on an actual stupid NEA “concept”) --- Fritz (Unknown)

Kerry picks trial lawyer Edwards as running mate - Edwards immediately files class action suit against Pres. Bush --- Fritz (Unknown)

Have you ever waited 2 hours past your appointment time to see the Doctor? The Assorted Press visits the doctor --- Fritz (Unknown)

We have not heard the last of Michael Moore yet, he may be named Saddam Hussein’s press agent --- Fritz (Unknown)

Bush & Kerry find room for agreement in unique solution for the future of Iraq --- Fritz (Unknown)

Michael Moore seeks atonement, will now make film celebrating defeat of Saddam Hussein --- Fritz (Unknown)

The Teachers Union convinces Kerry & Edwards if and when elected to enlarge Great Society Head Start Program --- Fritz (Unknown)

Oops, GOP pulls Kerry-Edwards "Gay" TV ad --- Fritz (Unknown)

The thoughts and social commentary of an unnamed ex-socialist as told to the Assorted Press......(not all parody) --- Fritz (Unknown)

Buying stuff from a salesgirl with a pierced tongue, crimson brushcut hair and low-rider jeans that reveal a dragon tattoo on her upper buttocks --- Fritz (Unknown)

The oft-lampooned Rev. Jesse Jackson the "Rainbow-Push" extortionist, now a Kerry "advisor" --- Fritz (Unknown)

New x-ray machine for detecting suicide bombers sees your arse through individual clothes (Drudge).... The Assorted Press has obtained one --- Fritz (Unknown)

Hillary Gives Up Presidential Hopes For Now – says she will visit our troops to sing and tap dance for them --- Fritz (Unknown)

Martha Stewart says I have been persecuted like Nelson Mandela, "I haven't cheated anybody" - her troop of lawyers file strange appeal today --- Fritz (Unknown)

Amazing grace in the labyrinth and how the Unitarians found it there - (a "Joint" venture by Teebone & Fritz) --- Fritz (Unknown)

Want to get a free Michael Moore bobble-head doll? --- Fritz (Unknown)

GOP to spend millions on Nader as Dems try to keep Nader off Texas ballot ? --- Fritz (Unknown)

Taking a lead from Ozzie Osborne, another wannabe celebrity makes an obscenity-laced statement bashing --- Fritz (Unknown)

Bush --- Fritz (Unknown)

Unbelievable, dead celebrities are now bashing Bush --- Fritz (Unknown)

Howard Stern and other Liberal celebrities claim President Bush is, “Out to get them” --- Fritz (Unknown)

Armstrong Wins & French officials Will Feature New Approach if Champ Decides to Compete Again --- Fritz (Unknown)

Robert “KKK” Byrd - a bloviating, bigoted thief of other people's money says he still “grieves for his country” & the GOP wants to unfairly target Democrats --- Fritz (Unknown)

Assorted Press on the scene at the Democrat Convention to ask a tough question --- Fritz (Unknown)

Assorted Press picture scoop; Incident where John Kerry takes time to harass Marines eating lunch --- Fritz (Unknown)

Announced today: If Elected, Kerry promises to use wife's money to protect terrorism targets in New York --- Fritz (Unknown)

Russ was pushing buttons & it was a slow news day so TAP went into the streets to ask some ordinary Americans a question --- Fritz (Unknown)

Walter Cronkite switches to Conservatism - Says, "It's the American thing to do" --- Fritz (Unknown)

A liberal organization calls for a "Be nice to Muslim Fundamentalists Day"; for more diversity: (TAP has a question) --- Fritz (Unknown)

I noticed that the Left is attempting to shift the blame for 9/11 from terrorists to American business and or government - the latest --- Fritz (Unknown)

The British cloned a lamb called Dolly, Americans cloned cute kittens in California - the French clone two cowardly rats --- Fritz (Unknown)

A post by Jenny and a suggestion by Grampa Right produces the latest ASSORTED PRESS article - "Bush sends Sharon Stone to Guantanamo" --- Fritz (Unknown)

Harvard Announces New School; The James McGreevey School for Gay Adulterous Politicians --- Fritz (Unknown)

Kerry considers annexation of Canada as 51st state - based on the idea of Russ, Tee & Clayton (Note: Kerry advisors always check the RM forum for ideas) --- Fritz (Unknown)

Remember, I told you all last week that an angry Kerry might do something like this? --- Fritz (Unknown)

Assorted Press Reports Sen. Kerry to Undergo Surgery Wednesday --- Fritz (Unknown)

Court Acquits Kerry in Mooning Incident --- Fritz (Unknown)

Revealed, secret DNC instructions to GOP Convention anarchist protesters --- Fritz (Unknown)

An interesting story you may have missed: "Protesters believe they toppled statue of President Bush in New York City" --- Fritz (Unknown)

President Bush has a DUI problem and Susan Estrich says Dukakis will campaign vigorously for John Kerry with the story --- Fritz (Unknown)

NEWS; Dan Rather has documents proving he should be running the Democrat Party --- Fritz (Unknown)

Waiting for the CBS announcement - Can this be an explanation for Dan Rather's "condition"? --- Fritz (Unknown)

Kerry makes astounding speech to union members - female reporter and children pummeled by union thugs --- Fritz (Unknown)

Is there a connection between that Maryland Iraqi agent Lindauer & some posters at TOF? --- Fritz (Unknown)

TOF poster exposes Bush and Carl Rove Union “dirty tricks” Hoax --- Fritz (Unknown)

Senator John Kerry to Concede the Election to President Bush Before Nov. 2 --- Fritz (Unknown)

Old Vet was correct about the outcome of this Presidential election -Kerry may be elected by illegal votes --- Fritz (Unknown)

PANIC!....The NY Times & Dems fear Bush will produce a captured Osama bin Laden just before the election --- Fritz (Unknown)

An exclusive photo report from TOF --- Fritz (Unknown)

Could this TAP report be referring to the Patriot Forum, or some place else? --- Fritz (Unknown)

Assorted press Internet poster writes an original poem --- Fritz (Unknown)

Democrats want to "criminalize" homeschooling in attempt to aid Teacher's Unions --- Fritz (Unknown)

An interview with Shandra Leer of inside the DC political beltway fame & friend of Hollywood celebrities --- Fritz (Unknown)

DNC's new "Beat Bush, buy a vote for Kerry" campaign fund --- Fritz (Unknown)

“Fostering Unity & Concern” (FUC) survey finds reporters are smarter than President Bush --- Fritz (Unknown)

Shocker: Concerned Scientists Urge Evacuation of Earth – President Bush’s Environmental Policies Blamed --- Fritz (Unknown)

Bush-bashing site blames President Bush for the tsunami - "it's got to be Bush's fault, somehow." --- Fritz (Unknown)

What ever happened to Fiftyeast? --- Fritz (Unknown)

France lodges a formal complaint at the United Nations over new US nickels --- Fritz (Unknown)

Good news for the Patriot and other crashing political forums - AOL and Microsoft strike a deal that might help --- Fritz (Unknown)

Kennedy and Byrd "enraged" at GOP attempt to stop Democrats from blocking Bush nominees --- Fritz (Unknown)

In my "15 minutes of fame" I make national news --- Fritz (Unknown)

Al Franken and Janeane Garofalo flop with liberal talk show - 'AIR AMERICA' --- Fritz (Unknown)

The President's "diverse" Easter greetings to Pagans, Pantheists & atheists --- Fritz (Unknown)

Anti-American, anti-national defense, pro-gay liberals will pick new DNC leader in February – TAP Report --- Fritz (Unknown)

The ASSORTED PRESS asks about the Texas question --- Fritz (Unknown)

Saddam Hussein wants an Internet Forum just like TOF --- Fritz (Unknown)

Assorted Press covers "Bob" at anti-Conservative protest (Right Mind version) --- Fritz (Unknown)

Michael Jackson Indicted - Some Democrats Urge Jackson, "A major public figure", to Seek Presidency --- Fritz (Unknown)

John Kerry wants only Supreme Court nominees who have had at least one abortion? --- Fritz (Unknown)

Does John Kerry really want a Muslim as running mate? --- Fritz (Unknown)

Democrats, CNN and the NY Times are shocked and saddened at anything George Bush does --- Fritz (Unknown)

US Supreme Court rules on McDermott allegiance flap; tells Congress to disband --- Fritz (Unknown)

Assorted Press investigative reporter checks into "Worldlyman's" background --- Fritz (Unknown)

Liberal film maker, Michael Moore comes to a tragic end --- Fritz (Unknown)

Troubled Film-Faker Michael Moore snubbed by Disney now fears whale hunters --- Fritz (Unknown)

Nothing much funny in world news today – so Assorted Press will investigate itself --- Fritz (Unknown)

Just watched a bleeding heart PETA spokeswoman on Dennis Miller (CNBC) - she reminded me of this story --- Fritz (Unknown)

New York Times gets idea from the Patriot Forum --- Fritz (Unknown)

Patriot forum posters and NY Times team up to present "Good News" from Iraq --- Fritz (Unknown)

President Bush will appoint Ted Kennedy Defense Secretary in second term --- Fritz (Unknown)

Al Franken & Barbra Streisand to play Bill & Hillary in new CBS series --- Fritz (Unknown)