The following is an excerpt from the South Florida Sun-Sentinel- it is NOT a parody

A maze in grace: Labyrinths are increasingly popping up in spiritual settings

By James D. Davis
Religion Editor

July 17, 2004

The walkers stroll or march slowly. A woman holds her palms out. A boy looks down, carefully following the rock-lined, folding path. Another woman marches with eyes fixed forward, seeming to stare miles ahead.

As they reach the center of the square design, they pause, stretch out their arms or just stand with heads down…….

Walkers often concentrate on their steps and their breathing. Narrowing the attention to the "moment," advocates say, frees up deeper parts of the mind. Devotees call a labyrinth a kind of journey, with the path rolled and folded on itself. And just as it ends in the center, the travelers' goal is within.

So goes the informal maze walk after Sunday worship. This one is in the back yard at the Unitarian Universalist Church in Oakland Park……

The ancient, quiet motifs of the stony mazes have clearly become a trend of their own. Springing up at churches, schools and elsewhere, the footpaths are used as tools for prayer, meditation, introspection -- even, some say, tapping universal energy……..

(For the entire article go to;)

http://www.sun-sentinel.com/features/lifestyle/sfl-lilabyrinth17xxxjul17,0,6014863.story?coll=sfla-features-headlines

 

 

The following is our Assorted Press “rest of the story”

Unitarian Church Uses Mazes for Meditation and For Tapping Universal energy.

By The ASSORTED PRESS (TAP)
 

July 2004 (TAP) – Unitarian Church officials today announced they have found the true path to heaven, paradise or nirvana by using labyrinth mazes in conjunction with their church services.

An unnamed spokesperson today said, the church had recently sent 42 parishioners into the maze in an experiment in which most completed the labyrinth but unfortunately 12 became hysterical and 8 were still unaccounted for at the end of the day.

Church official say they will make some changes in the maze to increase the success rate. For example they said, “Ex-Catholic priests will find curly haired young boys at the end of each turn or French visitors will find cheese that smells like peoples feet.

Little rewards for different parishioners with differing tastes. We Unitarians are like that, we cater to what makes people satisfied with their religion, we are liberal and can bend in any direction.”

It was noted by the Assorted Press correspondent that most of the successful participants exited the maze while inhaling deeply on self-rolled cigarettes, laughing or seeming to stare miles ahead and asking for Krispy-Kreme doughnuts.

Unitarian church officials are happy with the results so far. Having almost found a solution to making people feel good about religion they said, “We would now like to reach out to more agnostics and Atheists”.

 

Mr. Tee Bone of the Right Minds Forum contributed the original idea for this report.

 

Copied Right 2004, The Assorted Press & "Don't Bogart the that joint, Fritz" Inc.