Online users
???: Message   

Another story from FB
Post Reply   Forum

Posted by: Bartb

03/24/2020, 04:29:27

Author Profile Mail author Edit

The Middle Wife'

by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few
sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually,
show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model
airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never,
ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it
in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day
this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid,takes her turn
and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under
her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'

'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad
put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine
months through an umbrella cord.'

She's standing there with her
hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my
camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.

about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica
puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around the house
for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical
duck walk and groaning.)

'My Dad called the middle wife. She
delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the
Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.' (Then Erica
lies down with her back against the wall.)

'And then, pop! My
Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and
it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!' (This kid
has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It
was too much!)'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and
'breathe, breathe.

They started counting, but never even got
past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in
yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, so there
must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the middle wife
spanked him for crawling up in there in the first place.'

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat.

I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's
Show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another 'Middle
Wife' comes along.

Now you have two choices...laugh and close
this page or pass this along to someone else to spread the laughs. I
know what I did!!!

Live every day as if it is your LAST chance to make someone laugh.

Post Reply | Recommend | Alert View All   Previous | Next | Current page

Replies to this message