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|Re: What would be the point? Inheritance? -- TEEBONE||Post Reply||Top of thread||Forum|
Posted by: Russ Walden ® |
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Longer answer than you expect.
When we married, my Wife had two children: boy (5), girl (3). We lived in Santa Clara (CA) and bio-dad lived in that area. We soon moved to San Diego. Despite the distance, he remained connected with them and somewhat active in their lives. When he would occasionally come to San Diego, we would have him over for dinner and even lend him one of the family cars. We never allowed any tension to develop. When we married, she cancelled his child support obligation (with my concurrence).
My Wife had told me way up front that he was a good guy and the divorce was more her fault than his. He was, indeed, a good guy, and he had already lost the finest woman I ever knew, so there was no real point in taking any more. It didn't matter that much to me. I was already Dad or Daddy to the kids. We had four kids -- no stepkids. We did not use or allow the "step-words" in our family, and anyone who did use them would be quickly corrected.
When my youngest daughter turned 18, she asked me to adopt her. I was, of course, delighted to do that. My only requirement was that she needed to be the one to tell her bio-dad -- just inform, since she didn't need his permission. In fact, she cutely said that one of the fun things about doing it at 18 was that everybody would know it was her idea. She even gave me a T-shirt that says, "Any man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a Daddy!"
My Wife and I dated for almost two years, and often did things as a family, so there were no real surprises. In fact when we announced our marriage plans to the kids, my soon-to-be youngest daughter said, "Oh, good, now I can call you Daddy." And she did, ever after, even now.
When her brother heard the news, he, too, asked to be adopted. He was then serving in Germany in the Army, so we scheduled the whole process to occur when he came home on leave.
Bio-dad was a little bit bruised, but he quickly acknowledged that it made since inasmuch as I had actually raised the kids and it posed no change in his relationship to them. When my Wife died, he came to her funeral and, afterward, thanked me for having allowed him to be sorta part of the family for all those years. He said it allowed him to see "what a wonderful woman she became," then smiled, shook his head and said, "But I never could have handled her."
I said, "Oh." I say that a lot when I don't know what else to say, and "No shit! Ya think?" would have been rude.
Modified by Russ Walden at Fri, Jun 21, 2019, 16:37:24
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