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Here they are: Part Two
Re: Here they are: Part One: -- Bartb Post Reply Top of thread Forum

Posted by: Bartb ®

12/29/2018, 06:25:32

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Doctors:

(A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.

(B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000.

(C) Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171.

Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health Human Services.

Now think about this:

Guns:

(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000. Yes, that is 80 million.

(B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is 1,500.

(C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is .000188

Statistics courtesy of F.B.I.

Statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous
than gun owners.

Remember, "Guns don't kill people, doctors do."

FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR.
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Will Rogers, who died in a plane crash with Wylie Post in 1935, was probably the greatest political sage this country has ever known.  Enjoy the following:

1.  Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.

2.  Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

3.  There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman...neither works.

4.  Never miss a good chance to shut up.

5.  Always drink upstream from the herd.

6.  If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

7.  The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket.

8.  There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading.  The few who learn by observation.  The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.

9.  Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

10.  If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

11.  Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back.

12.  After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring.  He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.  The moral:

When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

ABOUT GROWING OLDER...

First ~ Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers.  Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way.  I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

Sixth ~ I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

Tenth ~ Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft.  Today it's called golf.

And finally ~ If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.

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An Atheist is a man with no visible means of support.
John Buchan
-------------
 A dead Atheist is someone who's all dressed up with no place to go.
James Duffy, NY Times
-------------
Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.
Albert Einstein
-------------
"There are two infinite things, the universe and human stupidity. I am not certain about the universe"
Albert Einstein
-------------
If men are so wicked with religion, what would they be without it?

"He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else"

Benjamin Franklin
-------------
A heathen is a benighted creature who has the folly to worship something he can see and he can feel.

Ambrose Bierce
-------------
Religion is excellent stuff for keeping common people quiet.

Napoleon Bonaparte
-------------
"It is better that ten guilty persons escape than that one innocent suffer",

...as expressed by the English jurist William Blackstone in his seminal work,
 Commentaries on the Laws of England, published in 1765.
-------------
The problem with born-again Christians is that they can be an even bigger pain
in the ass the second time around.

Blitz Wolfer
-------------
The Assorted Press

I don't believe in God because I don't believe in Mother Goose.

Clarence Darrow

 So far as religion of the day is concerned, it is a damned fake.
 Religion is bunk.

"Opportunity is missed by most people
because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work."

Thomas Edison

 I do believe our army chaplains, taken as a class, are the worst men we have in our service.

Abraham Lincoln

Man is the only animal that has the true religion - several of them.

Mark Twain

 I'm an Atheist and I thank God for it.

George Bernard Shaw
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The governor's mansion in Georgia burned down! Yep.
Pert near took out the whole trailer park.
The library was a total loss, too. Both books - poof!
Up in flames, and they hadn't even finished coloring one of them.

A guy from Georgia passed away and left his entire estate
to his beloved widow, but she can't touch it 'til she's 14.

How can you tell if a Georgia redneck is married?
There's dried tobacco juice on BOTH sides of his pickup truck.

Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Georgia to 32?
It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.

What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Georgia ? Documentaries.

Where was the tooth brush invented? Georgia (and West Virginia).
If it had been invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teeth brush.

A Georgia State trooper pulls over a pickup on I-95 and says to the driver,
"Got any I.D.?" The driver replies "Bout wut?"

Did you hear about the $3 million Georgia State Lottery?
The winner gets $3.00 a year for a million years.

A new law was recently passed in Georgia. . .
When a couple gets divorced they are STILL cousins.

At the scene of the accident a trooper asked the Georgia driver
what gear he was in at the moment of impact. He replied,
"tractor hat and camouflage hunting outfit"

Folks in Georgia now go to movies in groups of 18.
They were told "17 and under are not admitted".

A Georgia man spoke frantically into the phone,
"My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only 2 minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?", the doctor asked.
"No ya dummy" the man shouted, "This is her Husband!"
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Subject: DUI - Kentucky style

Only a Kentuckian could think of this ... from the county where drunk driving is considered a sport, comes this true story.

Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Mt.Sterling KY.

After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a  few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car which he fell into. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine, dry summer night) -- flicked the blinkers on, then off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patron vehicles left.

At last, the parking lot empty, he pulled out and started to drive slowly down the road. The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the man  over and carried out a breathalyzer test. To his amazement the breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having consumed any alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."

"I doubt it," said the truly proud Kentuckian. "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."
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"Never, in the history of human conflict, was so much owed by so many to so few"
Winston Churchill
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Lewis noted that Ahmadinejad has talked of Aug. 22 mulitiple times,
a date that corresponds to the 27th day of the month of Rajab
of the year 1427 for Muslims. (Aug 22, 2006 A.D.)
This, by tradition, is the night when many Muslims commemorate
the night flight of the prophet Muhammad on the winged horse Buraq,
first to 'the farthest mosque,' usually identified with Jerusalem,
and then to heaven and back.
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A bleeding heart only ruins the rug.  Anon
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"Yesterday upon the stair
 I met a man who wasn't there.
 He wasn't there again today
 I really wish that man would go away." Hugh Means (1875 - 1965)
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Muslims are not immigrants, they are missionaries.
Dafydd ab Hugh, Big Lizards lesser half
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"The problem with having an open mind is that people keep coming along
and sticking things in it." - Opus
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"Let your gun therefore be your constant companion of your walks."
--Thomas Jefferson
"The beauty of the Second Amendment is that it will not be needed
until they try to take it." - Thomas Jefferson
"An unarmed man may be attacked with greater confidence than an armed man."
-Thomas Jefferson
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A "blue moon" is when two full moons appear in a single month, or else four in a quarter -- and it's the third moon of four that's the "blue" one. I knew there was a reason to read Moon and Stars and Stuff, the long-running astrology column by the incomparable science-fiction author and fantasist Fritz Leiber.)
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"Discussion of issues cannot be suppressed simply because the issues also may be pertinent in an election. Where the First Amendment is implicated, the tie goes to the speaker, not the censor." Chief Justice John Roberts
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According to The Art of War: Complete texts and commentaries on Page 312,
Published by Shambhala Books.

    In 300 BC the first Emperor of the Qin dynasty wanted to conquer
the Kingdom Chu.  The Emperor asked  one of his Generals,
Li  "I want to take the kingdom of Chu How many men will be needed?".
The general replied 200,000 men would be necessary.

   The emperor asked the same question to another of his Generals,
General Wang. to which General Wang answered 600,000 troops are needed.
The Emperor told General Wang "you must be getting old,
how can you be so timid?".  General Wang then resigned, citing poor health.

       The emperor sent General Li with his 200,000 to attack that Kingdom.
Li did inflict serious damage, but in the counterattack,
the Qin army lost 7 of their captains, forcing Li to retreat.
The First emperor approached General Wang and asked him to return
to active duty.  The General said,
"I am old and muddled I will need 600,000 men."
 General Wang and his 600,000 strong army then resolved the Issue militarily.

The moral of the story:  the Chinese have been there and have done that.
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"A young person who is not a liberal has no heart.
An older person who is not a conservative has no brain"
-Winston Churchil
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"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea;
if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."

Abraham Lincoln
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I hate newspapermen. They come into camp and pick up their camp rumors
and print them as facts. I regard them as spies, which, in truth, they are.
If I killed them all there would be news from Hell before breakfast."

William Tecumseh Sherman
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"I think it is in our interest to punish the first insult;
for an insult unpunished is the parent of many others."
-Thomas Jefferson to John Jay, 1785 ME 5:95 Papers 8:427
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Some people regard private enterprise as a predatory tiger to be shot.
Others look on it as a cow they can milk.
Not enough people see it as a healthy horse, pulling a sturdy wagon.
-Winston Churchill
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The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up
in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
-Robert Frost
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A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.
-Rober Frost
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"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims
may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons
than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may
sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated;
but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end,
for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." ---C.S. Lewis
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This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when
the baby gets hold of a hammer.

- Will Rogers
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"If you aren't having fun in your work, fix the problem before it becomes
serious; ask for help if you need it.  If you can't fix it and won't ask
for help, please go away before you spoil the fun for the rest of us."

Work should be fun.  When it isn't fun, it really is work.  
Russ Walden
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"If it rains after a liberal washes his car,
 they say it's a right-wing dirty trick."
-Ann Coulter
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"Some crimes are so heinous that not even innocence is a defense."
-Alexander Meiklejohn
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"A veteran - whether active duty, retired, national guard, or reserve -
is someone who, at one point in his or her life, wrote a blank check
made payable to The 'United States of America', for an amount of
'up to and including my life.'" (Author unknown)
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Lost, yesterday, somewhere between Sunrise and Sunset,
Two Golden Hours,
Each set with sixty Diamond Minutes.
No reward is offered, for they are gone forever. -Horace Mann
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Keep five yards from a carriage, ten yards from a horse,
and a hundred yards from an elephant;
but the distance one should keep from a wicked man cannot be measured.
- Indian Proverb
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True Story

The devil visited a lawyer's office and made him an offer.
"I can arrange some things for you, " the devil said.
"I'll increase your income five-fold.
Your partners will love you; your clients will respect you;
you'll have four months of vacation each year and live to be a hundred.
All I require in return is that your wife's soul, your children's souls,
and their children's souls rot in hell for eternity."

The lawyer thought for a moment. "So, what's the catch?"
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I've had a perfectly wonderful evening.  But this wasn't it.

- Groucho Marx
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How did it get so late so soon?
It's night before its afternoon.
December is here before it's June.
My goodness how the time has flewn.
How did it get so late so soon?

- Dr. Seuss

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 georgewill@washpost.com
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 letters@charleskrauthammer.com
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The philosopher Donald Rumsfeld instructed us that while there are
"known knowns," there are also "unknown unknowns," those we
"do not know we don't know."
--Rumsfeld Uncertainty Principle
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Man's best friend.

A dog is truly a man's best friend.
If you don't believe it, just try this experiment.
 
Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour.
 
When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see  you!

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Sacred cows make the best hamburgers.
- Mark Twain
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For other nations, utopia is a blessed past never to be recovered;
for Americans it is just beyond the horizon.
-Henry A. Kissinger
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The purpose of government is to rein in the rights of the people.
-William Jefferson Clinton
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When prosperity comes, do not use all of it.
- Confucius
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Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- Winnie the Pooh
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"Mahalo Nui Loa - Aloha Oe" which means "Thank you - Farewell" in Hawaiian.
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There is no national science just as there is no national
multiplication table; what is national is no longer science.
- Anton Chekhov
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How to use Private Mail (PM) on RightMinds (RM)
1) Pour yourself a glass of Grey Goose

2) Click on "Post Message" on the main forum page.

3) Type (or C&P) the recipient(s) name(s) in the "Private Recipients" box in the new message form.

4) Click on the "All replies are private" Checkbox to ensure that replies to your PM remain private.

5) Give the post a subject and a message.

6) If you find your Grey Goose has emptied, pour yourself additional glasses as necessary.

7. Hit "Post".
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Do you know why they get away with this nonsense?
Because the dumb masses they're preaching to were largely educated
in government schools.
If you shoved what they know about economics up an ant's ass
it would rattle around like a BB in a boxcar.
-Neal Boortz
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The following is the 2007 winning entry from an annual contest at
Texas A&M University calling for the most appropriate definition
of a contemporary term.

This year's term:  Political Correctness.

"Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical,
liberal minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media,
which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up
a turd by the clean end."
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When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to
have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at
how much the old man had learned in seven years.

- Mark Twain
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Judy Wallman, a professional genealogical
researcher, discovered that Hillary Clinton's great-great uncle, Remus
Rodham, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in
1889.

The only known photograph of Remus shows him standing on the gallows.
On the back of the picture is this inscription: 'Remus Rodham; horse
thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison 1885, escaped 1887, robbed
the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted
and hanged in 1889.

Judy e-mailed Hillary Clinton for comments. Hillary's staff of
professional image adjusters sent back the following biographical
sketch:

'Remus Rodham was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory. His
business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian
assets and intimate dealings with the Montana railroad. Beginning in
1883, he devoted several years of his life to service at a government
facility, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the
railroad.

In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned
Pinkerton Detective Agency.

In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in
his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed.'

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55. Point to the north at any time.

If you have a watch, you can point the hour hand at the sun.
Then find the point directly between the hour hand and the 12.
That's south. The opposite direction is, of course, north.
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"Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of
the American public."

"If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents,
he would promise them missionairies for dinner."

"A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more ignorant
and the crazy crazier."

No one has bettered Mencken’s definition of Puritanism -
the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

H.L. Mencken (Henry Louis Mencken)
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Wise Words For This Political Season . . .

 During this political season let's be reminded of these wise words.

 You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.
You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.

 You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift.
You cannot lift the wage earner up by pulling the wage payer down.

 You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred.
You cannot build character and courage by taking away men's initiative
and independence.

 You cannot help men permanently by doing for them, what they could and
should do for themselves.

 Abraham Lincoln
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"A hypocrite is a person who complains about all the sex and violence
on his VCR."
-Zig Ziglar-
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"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already
tomorrow in Australia." (Charles Schulz)
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          "The government of the United States is a definite government,
confined to specified objects.  It is not like the state government,
whose powers are more general.  Charity is no part of the legislative duty
of the government" - James Madison
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If the human brain were so simple that we could understand it,
we would be so simple that we couldn't.

- Emerson M. Pugh
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Scientific criticism has no nobler task than to shatter false beliefs.
- Ludwig Von Mises
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"You're never beaten until you admit it."
- General George S. Patton, Jr
"No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. You win the war, by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country!"
- Gen. George S. Patton, Jr. - May 31, 1944
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"If you are going to sin, sin against God, not the bureaucracy. God will forgive you but the bureaucracy won't."
- Admiral Hyman Rickover
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"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."
- Napoleon Bonaparte
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"foreign aid"

It takes money from poor people in rich countries and gives it to
rich people in poor countries.

Any country that has a governmental system that would benefit from
foreign aid does not need it.
Any country that needs foreign aid has a system that cannot benefit from it.
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        And so... these Learned Men, having Inquir'd deeply into the Case for the Opposition,
        discover'd that the Opposition had no Case and were Devoid of Merit,
        which was what they Suspected all along, and they arriv'd at this Happy Conclusion
        by the most Economical and Nice of all Methods of Enquiry,
        which was that they did not Invite the Opposition
        to confuse Matters by Participating in the Discussion.

                -- Robert Anton Wilson
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Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave
When they think that their children are naive.

- Ogden Nash
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"So I became a newspaperman. I hated to do it but I couldn't find
honest employment." -Mark Twain
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So, naturalists observe, a flea
Hath smaller fleas that on him prey,
And these have smaller still to bite ’em
And so proceed ad infinitum.

- Jonathan Swift
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"Underlying most arguments against the free market is a lack of belief
in freedom itself."
-Milton Friedman
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"Every government interference in the economy consists of giving an unearned
benefit, extorted by force, to some men at the expense of others."
-Ayn Rand
Government "help" to business is just as disastrous as government persecution...
the only way a government can be of service to national prosperity is by keeping its hands off.

The man who speaks to you of sacrifice is speaking of slaves and masters,
and intends to be the master.

Reason is not automatic. Those who deny it cannot be conquered by it.
Do not count on them. Leave them alone.

There are two sides to every issue: one side is right and the other is wrong,
but the middle is always evil.

The only power any government has is the power to crack down on criminals.
Well, when there aren’t enough criminals, one makes them.
One declares so many things to be a crime that it becomes impossible for men
to live without breaking laws

We are fast approaching the stage of the ultimate inversion:
the stage where the government is free to do anything it pleases,
while the citizens may act only by permission;
which is the stage of the darkest periods of human history, the stage of rule by brute force.

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"Government cannot make man richer, but it can make him poorer."
-Ludwig von Mises
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
"The state is the great fiction by which everybody seeks to live
at the expense of everybody else."
-Frederic Bastiat
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Jefferson's intellect and his insights into the nature of man
were astounding, so much so that 170 years later another famous Democrat,
John F. Kennedy, welcomed the 49 Nobel Prize recipients to the White House
saying, "I think this is the most extraordinary collection of talent
and of human knowledge that has ever been gathered together
at the White House -with the possible exception of when Thomas Jefferson
dined alone."
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"The only true failure is when you stop trying." - Walt Disney
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Outside of a dog, a man's best friend is a book.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

- Groucho Marx
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Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
- Groucho Marx
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"Science is the belief in the ignorance of the experts" – Richard Feynman
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
In science, you can't get handed an audience willing to believe anything.
In anti-science activism, you can.
-Hank Campbell-
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