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An amusing example . . .
Re: LOL! Something like when a man marries a woman, he hopes she never changes, when a woman marries a man, she sees how good he could be with a few changes.... -- Dee W. Post Reply Top of thread Forum

Posted by: Russ Walden ®

03/11/2018, 11:40:54

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Dee --

By the time Ladyfriend and I began our relationship, we were both successful adults (one might even say "seniors") so it is reasonable to assume that we were both pretty well settled in our ways.  We are both strong-minded people -- some would even suggest "stubborn."  This led one of her daughters to predict that we would inevitably clash in some terminal fashion (has not happened yet).   Fortunately for me, I had a long relationship with a very strong-minded woman, but it began when we were young.  Her previous relationship was with a weak man, whom she dominated, but not overtly (she tried to hide it, to preserve his status).  This led to her daughter saying to mine, "Wouldn't you like to be a fly on the wall when those two are together?"

Often and not surprising, Ladyfriend would begin a conversation by saying, "I know you not going to change, but . . .."  Invariably, she would recite some habit or practice she wanted me to change -- a highly unlikely event.  I learned to intercept the conversation by interrupting her and saying, "Well, at least we can agree on that."

Before she could regain her momentum, I would explain:  "Honey, I also know that you are not going to change.  The difference is that I don't want you to change.  I love you for who you are and what you are."

To her credit, she has largely abandoned the earlier direct approach, but I still see the occasional subtle attempts.  To my credit, I am susceptible to the more subtle efforts, because pleasing her pleases me.

It's fun.  It's in the DNA.  It's a law of nature -- right up there with gravity.

The trick is to go with it and don't fight it -- just enjoy it.

Take care,

Russ








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